OOm - Eric's room, late night

[onceaviking]

After having finished his little intermezzo with Jay Eric returns to his room.

He pushes the door open and locks it behind him, once he is inside. Old habits and all.
He strips off his wife beater and toes off his boots right inside the door. He could do with a shower.

His laptop is on.
"What are you looking at?" he asks Pam, as his jeans go the way of boots and wife beater.

Comments

[onceaviking]

"Talentless, useless, fucking," and he continues in old Swedish, every rolled r and every guttural g spat like a curse.


He is furious. And he is crying. The tears are dark red and heavy as they slide down his cheeks.

[lazy_but_loyal]

Her gaze snaps right back to Eric's face when he starts swearing and crying, her eyes wide.

Oh, shit.

The pit of her stomach drops out.

"Eric..."

She rushes to the shower stall, hesitant and unsure of what to do, but wanting to do something -- if he'd let her.

[onceaviking]

He presses the heels of his hands against his eyes, swallowing.

[lazy_but_loyal]

"Eric?"

She reaches through the spray of water to lay her hand on his arm.

[onceaviking]

He slowly moves his hands away.

"He went willingly, Pam," he says. Tonelessly. "He wouldn't fight. He wouldn't let me fight. He wouldn't let me free him."

He doesn't know what to do with this. It leaves him nowhere to turn his rage. And then all there is left is the hurting. The emptiness.

The sorrow.

He looks at her. His eyes are very blue and framed in dark red.

He didn't want her to see him like this.
He is her Maker. He is supposed to be strong. Sure. Not weak and doubting.
Vampire. Not human.

"I miss him."
His voice breaks. Just a little. You can hardly hear it.

[lazy_but_loyal]

She had no idea how much it would hurt to see him grieve so deeply. It's almost paralyzing.

"I know you do."

She feels it.

She reaches into the shower stall to turn off the water. She then grabs a large towel and takes Eric's hand, urging him to step out and dry himself off.

[onceaviking]

He does so, taking the towel and drying off automatically.

Then he looks up at her. "I didn't want you to feel this," he says.
He didn't want her to hurt as well. In any way.
"I just can't -"

A deep breath.

Another.

And then he puts his arms around her. For his own sake.
Sometimes, the bond needs a little reinforcing.

[lazy_but_loyal]

This is just something Eric can't protect her from.

She's never seen him so anguished, never felt him so pained, and it grips and twists her insides as if threatening to tear her apart. She doesn't like seeing him like this. It confuses and even frightens her, not knowing how to help make it go away.

Her reserve starts to crumble. Blood tears well up in her eyes.

And when he puts his arms around her, she finally breaks down.

"Oh, Eric," she whispers shakily against his skin, clinging to him tightly. "I'm so sorry."

Not mere human sympathy and sorrow. Vampire.

[onceaviking]

He tightens his hold on her and rubs his cheek against her hair.

"It's like a hole inside," he whispers. "Where he is gone. And the things he said, Pam. The terrible things he said. And the -"

The other things. Kärlek.

Repeating her,"I'm sorry," because he knows how this is making her feel. Can feel how it is making her feel.

[lazy_but_loyal]

Almost anyone would feel small in Eric's embrace, but right now Pam feels downright tiny.

But despite the shared pain, she still feels safe. She'll bear the pain with him. She would bear it for him if she could, just to have him as he was before. Whole.

She shuts her eyes, sniffling, slowly sweeping a hand up and down his back.

"What- what did he say?"

[onceaviking]

"It - he didn't mean it, Pam." Saying this as much to convince himself as her. "He talked of morality and - how we were wrong. That we shouldn't exist."

A breath.

"But he didn't mean it."

And it is not all empty reassurances.
"I said I would force him out of harm's way and he told me that would be a cruelty. And then he commanded me to leave."

He has already told her that. And himself as well. He needs to tell it again.

"He talked about our past, about - how things lay between us."

Another, deeper breath, as he tightens his hold on her once again. And then he adds, as an afterthought, "Sookie stayed with him. So he wouldn't be alone."

Not aware of how his voice changes, just a little bit, as he says her name.
For as much as that dawn in Dallas changed Sookie Stackhouse's perception of one Eric Northman, it changed his of her as well. Even if he might not be aware of it.

[lazy_but_loyal]

She frowns, opening her eyes and blinking, her eyelashes brushing against his skin. She doesn't understand how one of their own could say such a thing, someone as old and wise and powerful as Godric.

What had happened to him? What had he seen? What had he done? Surely he had his reasons. The oldest and wisest and most powerful always do, don't they?

He didn't mean it.

She closes her eyes again, her breath hitching as she chokes back more tears. But she's quiet enough to still hear the subtle change in Eric's voice when he says Sookie.

Pam is more aware of Eric than he is of himself sometimes. She sees him when he can't. And she should be annoyed and angry; but she isn't. Not now. Because it's obvious to her that Eric needs the thought of Sookie, yes, that human, and what she did for Godric, to heal.

She doesn't say anything. She just clings to him tighter. As if trying to fill that empty space.

[onceaviking]

He holds her, quietly, for a long time.

Then he kisses her. The way he kisses her now, when he does. A soft kiss dropped on top of her hair, even as his fingers trail down her back and his hands come to rest right where her body curves.

"We'll be okay," he promises her in a soft tone. She is his. His responsibility. His Progeny. His Pam.

[lazy_but_loyal]

For a long time, she really doesn't want to let go.

But eventually, when she feels his kiss, she sighs deeply as if taking a breath for the first time, and her arms loosen around him. Just a little bit.

His voice is soft but it still rumbles in his throat. She nods, her cheek still pressed to his chest.

"I'll be okay when you're okay."

[onceaviking]

He puts a finger beneath her chin and urges her to look up.
"I'm okay when you need me to be," he says.

His eyes are dry. His voice is steady.
Eric is very good at, if not moving on, then at least pretending to have done so.

"Did you make friends with Amanda?"
It's not the smoothest of subject changes, but it will have to do.

[lazy_but_loyal]

She looks up at him and nods again, more firmly this time.

With a sniff she glances away, wiping at the dried blood under her eyes with the backs of her fingers.

"Yeah. I did."

She breathes a weak chuckle.

"I still hate Milliways but she's all right."

[onceaviking]

"See? It's not all bad. And apparently, sometimes people get the choice of turning into the opposite gender. Maybe some if the promiscuous men will turn into promiscuous women."

He smiles.

He hasn't changed the bedding since Emcee was here. The scent still lingers.

[lazy_but_loyal]

And then she looks at him as if he were crazy. But in an affectionate way.

She opens her mouth to say something. Then closes it. Then opens it again. Then she shakes her head.

"You know what? I'm just going to take your word for it. I've been taking your word for a lot of things these past couple nights, because if I don't, I just might lose it."

She gives him a pert little smile and pats his chest before gently extricating herself from his arms. Going over to the sink, she turns on the faucet to wash her face.

"Speaking of promiscuous men, how did things go with Jay?" she asks between splashes.

[onceaviking]

"I wouldn't lie about something like that. Not to you anyway," he replies with a small smile and turns his back to her as he looks for a comb on one of the shelves. He's sure he saw one last night.

"It went well enough. I told him in no uncertain terms that he was never to run his mouth again and he meekly agreed."

[lazy_but_loyal]

She cocks an eyebrow at his reflection in the mirror before patting her face dry with a small towel.

"Is that all?"

[onceaviking]

He lifts an eyebrow. Ever so slightly.
"Yes. That is all."

[lazy_but_loyal]

"...Okay."

That came off a lot more passive aggressive than is usual for her. And she's the last person ever to be passive aggressive.

She flips her hair over her shoulder and digs into a makeup bag for a tube of lipstick.

[onceaviking]

He turns and crosses his arms.

"And what is that - " he asks, very deliberately,"supposed to mean?"

[lazy_but_loyal]

She glances up at him in the mirror as she applies a dark shade of red lipstick.

"Nothing."

A beat.

"Just that your pet human needs a little more discipline."

[onceaviking]

"I do not keep pets, Pam," he replies. Voice flat. Face expressionless.